As a reminder, there are 5 mods, total, of IANH, so I definitely cannot speak for all of them, not even the one sitting next to me currently.
I think in order to answer that you have to define what constitutes a marriage. A pretty simple criteria is legal declaration of marriage, but aside from the implication that has on same-sex unions, if we were honest, it would rule out a lot of Muslim unions I see in my community.
There are many couples I have come across that were married by an imam in the community, and as therefore married Islamically, but are not married through the state. I don’t consider them any less married.
Same-sex couples, with few exceptions, are not generally given that same opportunity to be married by an imam and receive the blessings and support of their community. But, just as you do not have to have an imam present to take shahada, you do not necessarily have to have an imam present in marriage ceremonies.
With all things, I think intention and declaration are vital. When a couple declares to their community their intention for their union to be a life long one, and they actively strive to provide til, and through death….it’s a marriage to me. iA the community accepts and supports the couple. If they do not, though, that does not make the union any less so. That goes for, not just same sex couples, but also straight couples marrying someone of another faith, someone their family or community doesn’t approve of, etc. and are left to fend for themselves as a result.
The rest is between ourselves and Allah, and for anyone else between themselves and Allah. It’s not for me to judge. It’s not for anyone else to do so.
We have to do the best with what we have, and know that the final judgement won’t take place on Earth.
Alhamdulillah for this answer. I think this is very succinctly and beautifully worded. It reminds me of a hadith wherein the Prophet Muhammad (SAWS) said we are rewarded according to our intentions. That is a strong, agreed upon hadith. And there’s nothing really I care to add. I just wanted to cosign.
Zina is fornication, btw.
UPDATED: Here is some more reading on this issue.
Salaam Alaikum and welcome everybody. Periodically, we get asks referring to ahadith: There was one on the greatest sins, one asking about effeminate men and masculine women, dalil’s on trans* issues and blurring the gender binary. To avoid repetition, please see our resource page and feel free to peruse some of our previous asks.
Thank you for visiting our site and showing us support. Thank you for sharing your stories and experiences with us and allowing us to share with you. Of course, we are mindful of the fact that Allah’s Qadr (Will) and Rahma (Mercy) prevail and so we give eternal thanks to The Most High.
May Allah continue to increase you in faith and understanding as you journey though this life.
It’s that time of year - National Coming Out Day. “Coming out” is the term used for telling people that your sexuality is something other than straight. It’s a massive step for many people, but should only be taken when one is ready and IF one wants to. I’d love there to be a situation where ‘straight’ wasn’t the default in society and there was no need to come out, but the reality of today is different. So to my LGBT community who aren’t ‘out’, don’t feel pressured to do so. Do what’s right for you as an individual. I pray the time comes when we can live our lives the way we see fit. Until then, know that the mods at IANH are always here for you.
I am a gay Muslim, 21 years old, living in Canada. I am so happy to see such a page exist and the likes of Imaan and Salaam in Canada. I really feel strongly about other closeted Muslims who let the rest of us be seen like we don’t exist! But we do! We cannot be forced into marriages and quietly accept the outcomes. I am very proud to be a part of this and every day is a struggle for me to get my family to accept me and see the way I do Inshallah.
Peace and Blessings <3
The practice of declaring someone, who identifies as Muslim, as not Muslim is known as takfir. This is something that Muslims are warned against doing by the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him). This is because there is a fundamental teaching and understanding that whatever exists in the heart of a human being, Muslim or not, is between that person and Allah. No one else.
Therefore, regardless of someone else’s judgement, it is not for anyone to say that someone else is not Muslim. There is one exception: a person declares themselves to no longer be Muslim. This self-declaration is known as apostasy. Without this declaration, those of us who are Muslim… are just that…. Muslim. And Alhamdulilllah for it.
It is not picking and choosing what we want from our religion. If being LGBTQ* and practicing Islam is cherry picking over our religion, then my inability to free slaves whenever I lie or break my fast for the wrong reasons is cherry picking. My brother choosing to be a truck driver to transport goods across country instead of using a caravan of camels… is cherry picking.
What I am doing… what WE are doing.. is continuing to be Muslim. We are doing what God says to do.. and that is use our intellect, and available resources, to practice Islam to the best of our ability. And our willingness to do this
to use every. thing. we have to stay within the fold of Islam
to continue to fast and give charity; to beg and pray and worship our Creator
to be kind to our neighbors, and to the poor
to try to make Hajj
to try to observe Ramadhan
Our willingness to do these things… to ultimately submit.. is what makes us Muslim.