Today after class I went up to my sociology teacher and let her know that she got the definition of bisexuality wrong, and that it doesn’t only acknowledge two genders, and she laughed and said “no, you’re wrong. I have to disagree with you on that.” And I was so fucking mad like, not only did she tell a bi person that she knew what bi meant more than they did, but she laughed at me.
And she was all “that’s why a lot of people identify as pansexual. Because bisexual doesn’t include other genders.”
AND SHE FUCKING KNOWS IM TRANS and like I mean I didn’t tell her I’m bi but I kind of expected her to respect that and trust that I know what I’m talking about when it comes to the lgbt stuff.
Like if bi didn’t include trans people I think the trans kid would know about it.
So yeah like I told her that its attraction to the same and other genders and that a lot of people identify as bi who acknowledge and are attracted to nonbinary people and she was just kinda like “fine whatever you say” and like I was just so mad like there was smoke coming out of my ears cuz fucking straight ally thinks she knows everything.
The only people who get to define bisexuality is the bisexual community. If you are a straight ally, if you are a gay ally, if you are a lesbian ally YOU do Not get to talk over and talk down to a Bisexual Person who is explaining to you about There Own Community and Orientation.
STUDENTS: If this Ever happens to you, PLEASE Contact Us via Ask (you can even be anonymous if you wish) and we can arrange to have the correct information conveyed to your school or university in a respectful + professional manner.
When I was 17 years old I was a senior in high school. I was wearing hijab and I went on everyday with my life with the idea that one day I am going to have a huge fancy wedding with prince charming. That my hijab is part of my identity and who i am, but is that true? It most definitely is not.
I have been wearing hijab since I was 4 years old. Yes 4. How ridiculous does that sound? To be honest that’s not really the problem. I have never identified as gay and I still don’t but that one relationship with a girl that I had turned my perspective around, a 360 degree turn.
My dad used to tell me that gay people are sick, my mom was repulsed at the idea of two men or two women kissing because it was “haram”. Is it haram? Only Allah knows. Anyway, back to being 17 and meeting the most amazing girl in the entire world. Meeting this girl, her name is Nalani. She was the most beautiful, exquisite, free-spirited person I had ever met. There was a problem at the time in my head though, she was still a GIRL. I was so confused at the time that she was a girl that because I had cared about her so much I was actually mean to her because I couldn’t comprehend that I actually had feelings for another woman, it was just so abnormal to me.
Meanwhile, a lot of time passed and I continued to struggle with my relationship because I loved her so much but we were hiding from the entire world. I mainly struggled with the idea of simultaneously accepting my hijab any my sexuality. We hid our relationship from the world for three years. I had been engaged to a man while Nalani and I were together because I thought that it would help mask my feelings for her, that obviously didn’t work. We both struggled for years trying to make sense of the hiding and that no one would ever accept us, it drained our relationship to the point where there was nothing left. On december 16th, 2013 my only girlfriend that I had fought to be with and suffered for years at a time for left me. The hiding was an external factor undoubtedly, but there were other internal factors that aided in her decision to end it.
Everyday for those 3 years i lived in constant fear of someone finding out. After my g/f broke up with me, I decided to take off my hijab and come out. Let me tell you, that this was the hardest thing I had ever had to do. I took my hijab off because I realized that I had no idea who I was, that I was only wearing hijab because I was afraid what people would say about me taking it off. I only stayed in the closet about my relationship because I didn’t want people to stop talking to me and my family to disown me. Now, the whole world knows about the relationship with this phenomenal young woman that I had in my life. Although we are no longer together I will never be ashamed to say that she was my girlfriend. I always struggled with the idea of being Muslim and being in a same-sex relationship, only to realize that those are two completely different things. I still have no idea what to identify myself as, but I ‘d like to keep it that way for now. My family was shocked and so were my friends. I used to introduce Nalani as my “friend” for years and to come to realize that she was my gf they couldn’t believe it. Many people distanced themselves, and many people actually became closer to me. My family still can’t accept it, I don’t think they ever will. That’s alright though, because they are my family. It’s a struggle everyday to say that I am Muslim and that I may like women too. It’s something many Muslims in the LGBTQ community struggle with. I just want you all to know though that it’s not the end of the world. Do not fight what feels right to you. If you are a man and love a man, if you are a woman and love a woman, do not fight it. Allah will judge you and only you. Allah swt is the most compassionate and forgiving, he is the all-knowing so don’t fear, go with what feels right. I wish I would have done this a long time ago. Stay strong.
I pray that 2014 brings with it peace and happiness for all LGBT+ people.
I pray that families, chosen or otherwise, are strengthened and filled with love and support.
I pray that we are able to accept ourselves for who we are and that we are able to progress along our individual journeys wherever that may be.
I pray for hope. I pray for joy. I pray for love.
Happy New Year friends,